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Eclipse of the Sun

8/20/17       
cabmaker

Mark Twain wrote about eclipse of the sun in Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.

The story was a about a foreman in a munitions factory in New England during the nineteenth century.
He was hit on the head and when he awoke he found himself 400 years earlier in King Arthur’s realm.

The local people were very superstitious and apprehensive about his clothing.
Out of an abundance of caution they imprisoned him.
Merlin, the grand wizard & King Arthur’s Steve Bannon, pronounced it would be best to put him to death.

The protagonist somehow figured out that on this day in history there had also been another total eclipse of the sun.
As he was being dragged to the cross he told the superstitious mob that if they killed him he would cause the sun to disappear.
It did so of course they freed him.

He was now as powerful as Merlin so sat on the right side of the King, equal to Merlin as an advisor.
Merlin was “The Wizard” so the foreman also had to have a title.
When they asked him what he should be called he said: “The Boss”.

Since he already knew about all future technology his first act as Royal Boss was to create a patent office “Because a country without a patent office is like a crab. It can only move sideways”.

Time passed and Twain’s guy created a parallel society. To populate this parallel civilization he had pluck children at birth from their parent’s.
He reasoned that if the child spent just one week in a feudal household it would contaminate their perspective for life.

As time went on this parallel society developed Universities, telegraph lines, gun powder etc.
They had to do all of this on the sly because the Merlin would seek to undermine them if they didn’t.

The wizard didn’t like it when the Boss was getting the ear of the king.
The Wizard did his best to remind the villagers that it had been a long time since the The Boss did anything like blot out the sun.
They didn’t take much convincing because serfs had a very short memory and a small attention span. They did not understand basic economics.

The Boss recognized that a mass-distraction would need to happen.
North Korea hadn’t been invented yet but the Wizard did live in a really tall tower that was high on a hill visible from anywhere in the village.
The Boss decided to have his crew plant a bunch of dynamite in the foundation of Merlin's tower.

The Wizard was kind of a predictable dude. He liked to bluster a lot and tended to ad lib a little too much.
The boss could tell that a storm was brewing and this would have to be dealt with soon.
On a dark stormy night he called for a showdown with the Wizard in the town square.

He asked the wizard to back up his claims and of course the wizard had nothing tangible to offer.
The boss then pointed to the wizard’s tower high up on the hill and said “Let’s settle this!"

Upon pointing towards the castle one of his students from the STEM program replicated the experiment Tom Jefferson did with the kite and the lightning.
As he did this the lighting hit the fuse, the fuse ignited the dynamite and Merlin’s castle was blown to smithereens in front of everybody.

Life was pretty calm for a while after that. Society was starting to improving for everybody. The serfs were getting a piece of the prosperity but soon decided they weren’t getting enough.
It was not long before all the white Knights of chivalry started to come across the continent to challenge the new society. They wanted life to be the way it used to be.
They didn’t like the Boss anymore. He wore funny clothes and talked with a Connecticut accent.

The knights came for years and years from everywhere in Europe. Armed with a sword and jousting spear they sought to avenge injustice.
Twain’s guy, however, had modernity on his side. He knew how to make gun powder and he had a gatling gun.
The knights kept coming and he kept mowing them down. They came from every direction and the pile of corpses soon accumulated like a donut.
The pile of bodies were essentially the same as a moat. Old ideas couldn’t get out and new ideas couldn’t get in.

The bodies attracted the rats. The rats brought the bubonic plague and civilization was plunged into the dark ages.

8/20/17       #2: Eclipse of the Sun ...
Matt Calnen

I think I need to party with you sometime.

8/21/17       #3: Eclipse of the Sun ...
Pat Gilbert

The evil overlord is the customer.

You and Twain muddy the waters.

8/21/17       #4: Eclipse of the Sun ...
Jim Member

If you work as much as you post I don't know when you sleep.

8/21/17       #5: Eclipse of the Sun ...
cabinetmaker

Cabmaker, do you even own a shop ?

8/21/17       #6: Eclipse of the Sun ...
Sam Clemens

Cabinetmaker,

Why are you getting your underwear all bunched up? This is a timely topic. Haven't you been following the news?

From an outsider's perspective all you need to be successful in a cabinet shop is customers, materials, information, equipment, a crew that knows how to get it done and all this in the building at the same time. That's like lining up the earth, the moon & the sun. Enjoy it while it lasts.

And then there is Charlottesville with all these European knights converging to defend a feudal system only to meet a gatling gun that doxed them on social media.

This is not exactly rocket surgery.

8/22/17       #7: Eclipse of the Sun ...
KaliKid

iz that you RD ???


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